The architect
by V rex
Summary: KTTK and something cross overs. Reviews would be great.
1. The Architect matrix dude

Arthur looked around at the room he was in. There was a hundred TV screens at one end all playing the Superbowl, and a large chair in front of the TV's. The chair slowly spun around to reveal a short main in a white suite with a white beard and white hair. He suddenly pushed off with his foot and spun around in the chair very fast.

"Weeeeee!", shouted the man in a voice the shouldn't be going "weeeeeee!".

"Who are you", asked Arthur.

"I am the Architect… oomph", added the Architect as the chair suddenly stopped causing the glass of lemonade on the armrest to tip over and spill over the remote. There was an electric discharge and all the TV screens suddenly broke into a blue screen and the annoying high pitched sound.

"You're the architect", asked Arthur.

"What?", shouted the Architect.

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

The Architect then pulled out the seventh key to the kingdom and with a flick of his wrist blew up all the TV screens. A good lot of smoke came from that causing the fire sprinklers to turn on. They were even more annoying than the TV's.

Arthur noticed the seventh key to the kingdom and asked"Why do you have the seventh key to the kingdom?".

"What key?" replied the "Architect"(I bet your doubting he's the architect too).

"The key you just used to blow up the TV's".

"I have no key".

"Yes you do see you just used it again to turn off the water sprinklers so we wouldn't drown".

"You're seeing things, too much wine".

The "Seventh key" that was now hidden behind the "architect's" back it was a golden feather quill (kind of disappointing for the most powerful key).

"I can see it from behind your back", said Arthur

"Oh, this thing here this is just a special quill my friend gave to me, but now I don't like it", the "architect" said and broke the golden quill in half and chucked it into the incinerator.

"Okay well after I defeated Superior Saturday and rescued the sixth part of the will she said I could find you here at the bottom of this well".

(Warning the previous paragraph contains major spoilers readers who want to keep suspense through out the keys to the kingdom series should not read the previous paragraph)

"Yes and I have been expecting you Arthur Penhaliagon", said the "architect". "You can either choose the door on your left or the on your right. The door on the left leads to the secondary realms where your friend Leaf has been pushed off of a really tall building. Or the door on you left leads to the house where Suzy has been pushed off of the pit."

"And I have to choose between the two", said Arthur.

"Yes"

"Then I choose neither", said Arthur.

"You're not going to save them"

"No because really the door on the left leads to the girls washroom and the door on the left leads to Dame Primus".

"But you still have to choose a door"

"No I don't", said Arthur and turned around and walked down the hallway from which he came".

"Crap", said the architect, he looked down at his revised schedule at 2:00 the TV repair man was coming,5:00 was the key to the kingdom repair man, and at 9:00 some guy in a trench coat was coming to get to the source.


	2. Seven Days of bore

**Well I never planned on updating but I'm doing it anyways. Note that the second chapter isn't a matrix crossover but a Bible crossover so enjoy.**

On the first day. The VERY first day. Number 1, the Architect was bored.

"Well I shouldn't be bored on the first day, the VERY first day number one but I am", thought the Architect.

So he decided to create something. You mister reader might think he created one of the seven realms of the house but oh no the Architect created the Author of this story. That's why this story is written it's common sense.

Soon though the Architect got bored of the Author of this story because all he did was whine that he wasn't getting enough reviews for his fic (Just kidding)(Seriously can't you take a joke)(Fine 'ill shut up and get back to the story). The Architect decided to create something else but then he said "I'll do it on the second day, I mean that's why there's a second day".

On the second day the Architect created a house it was a nice house even though it had a whole freaking load of floors in it. When he was done he noticed that he had a lot of bricks and cement left so he created another house. Since this house was on a slightly higher rise than the second house he called it the Upper house. The other house though was upset that he didn't have a name so the Architect called it the Lower house (The Lower house was still upset after that). Then there was that house in between the two that the Architect had built for the heck of it called the Middle house. This was all built on the second day remember that there will be a quiz after this story.

On the third day the Architect decided to create a place far away just for the heck of it. "I'll call it the Far reaches so whoever lives in the three houses can travel here and party or something like that", thought the uncreative mind of the Architect. So he started building the Far reaches but due to daylight savings the third day ended and the Far Reaches just ended up a barren landscape that would be great for digging pits.

On the fourth day the Architect created the sea it was a big sea and easy to create. He put little islands all over the sea. But the Architect had forgotten to set his watch for daylight savings so the fourth day ended.

On the fifth day the Architect needed to trim the hedges that where overflowing his land while trimming he created a giant maze so huge that when the Architect finally found his way out it was the end of the fifth day.

On the sixth day the Architect decided to do some gardening and he created the incomparable garden that made God's Garden of Eden look a bit small. God got jealous and worked all day on making his garden the best garden. That was the sixth day.

On the seventh day God tolled the Architect that The Architect's creations were going onto Gods property so The Architect put all his creations on top of each other. But the floor between the Sea and the Maze was leaking causing the hedges to grow at unimaginable heights. So the Architect put the Sea beneath the Maze. With the lack of water the hedges withered and died, creating a barren landscape. Now the Architect had two barren landscapes. The Architect called his stacked creation the House. But then he realized it was a horrible creation so he scrapped the project and that's the end.

**I can update again causeI have another good idea so you can expect a Chapter 3.**


	3. The field guide or Atlas

The house field guide

Denizens

Scientific name: _Stupidous allopoduss denizenous what the heckus_

Animal type?

Diet: Granola bars, biscuits and tea.

Territory: A house built out of straw, A house built out of wood, A house built out of bricks, Two barren landscapes, A big freaking garden, And a big sea.

Denizens look a lot like us except there a lot taller and they suck at fashion (I mean bowler hats come on). Denizens are really hard to kill. So if one goes all superior on you just squash his bowler hat instead of firing rounds . Denizens have many uses like filling ink bottles, writing stuff on parchment, digging pits ("That's becoming a favorite" says Grim Tuesday the George Bush of the house) and serving in army's. Denizens also don't have to eat but they do it any way for "fashion". They should be giving all those biscuits to the poor. Also denizens like killing nithlings. The glorious army of the architect will just open the gate letting a whole lot of nithlings sweep in, so they can shoot them. Luckily some people are working on a nithling conservation area so we can protect are mutant creatures.

The will (Dame Primus)

Scientific name: _Damius Primius name sounds sort of Star Trekish quite disturbingish._

Animal type: The alphabet

Diet: We have theories

If you get a glimpse of Dame Primus it will remind you of a certain human in the secondary realms. She (?) is made out of tiny little letters that swirl about, like alphabet cereal. You should avoid this creature at all costs since not a lot is known about her (?).

Q & A

Q: This field guide sucks

A: You make a better one

Q: I could make a better one

A: That's not a question

Q: Can I have a cookie?

A: I don't have a cookie

Q: What is a nithling?

A: Check the field guide

Q: It's not in the field guide

A: That's not a question

Q: Why isn't nithling in the field guide?

A: It was then we replaced it with dog

Q: There isn't a dog in the field guide

A: That's not a question


	4. Producer's crossover

**Warning the following chapter is pretty crazy. You might want to eat a few spoonfuls of sugar before reading this chapter...**

**You didn't eat any sugar did you? **

The Keys To The Kingdom Musical! (omg)

"That's right Mr. Nix your popular kid's series is going Broadway! I'm director Paul Bunsen and I'm going to direct the play, I'll be sending you a script in the mail so check your mailbox right, right, NOW", said the message that Garth Nix was listening to.

Garth Nix resisted the urge to call the director and call him off. You can't make a musical on the Keys to The Kingdom, it's like making a cow skate board, it just won't work!

"Ahh well", said Garth Nix "let's give him a chance".

He would regret that decision for the rest of the series.

The script came in the mail the next week. Garth Nix immediately took it, sat down and started to read…

The Keys to the kingdom script

Scene 1

Inspector enters stage and approaches commissionaire

Inspector: Horses go neigh, cows go moo I'm an inspector honest and true.

Commissionaire: Everything is fine here you may go

Inspector: What a waste of time, AAACHHOO

The large diamond in the middle of the stage will now explode. The trick is though not to make that explosion look like a cheap firework (low budget) which it obviously is.

The dust clears everyone looks at the middle of the stage and starts singing the first song "Who Let The Will Out!" (See the back of the script)

Garth Nix looked at the script in a panic. This was horrible, he had to do something! Garth Nix chucked the script into the incinerator, took the shredded remains and burned them in the fire place, he then took the whole fire place and dissolved it in acid. The barrel of acid was then sealed up and sent to the bottom of the ocean.

The next day there was two messages on his phone. Mr Nix checked the first one "Hello my name is Don Frank, I am unable to withdraw a large amount of money from my account and I need your help, If you give your pin number I will forward 60 of this cash to you account………."

The second message was NOT spam instead it was short and mysterious "Meet me at the bar………………………….. or the bowling alley………………………………but probably the bar".

Garth Nix listened closely to the raspy voice of the messenger trying to identify it, but he couldn't. He put on his long over coat and walked outside into the dark and spooky alleyway. After several minutes of walking, a couple skipping, one minute running from Real Estate he finally came to ………………….THE BAR. (OOH Climax).

Garth Nix waited there for several minutes. Until finally somebody sat next to him. It was…………………………………………………………………..Dame Primus! Garth Nix checked to see if there was anything illegal in his drink before staring up again at the fictional character.

"You're…real", he said.

"Of course", said Dame Primus "I'm as real as you, now I understand some weird mortal is trying to make a musical out of the keys to the kingdom, this cannot happen, everyone in the House prohibits it, we must stop it, together!"

Despite the weirdness of the situation Garth Nix had to agree.

4 months later. New York, Broadway.

Today was the big day. The premier of the Keys to the Kingdom musical! That had to be stopped by an author and some freakish fictional character.

Garth Nix was in bad luck though, Dame Primus was late and the show was going to start in a half hour. He was pacing down the aisle nervously sweating like a pig. He heard voices in the theater next door that was playing "The Jar Jar Binks tragedy". Garth Nix heard cheers next door as the "Jar Jar Binks tragedy" went into what he referred to as "The knife scene".

Garth Nix decided to check the lobby again for any signs of Dame Primus, or maybe get some popcorn. Heading into the lobby he found a disheartening sight. The large plasma screen T.V that dominated a quarter of the lobby blared the following heading.

"Fictional character get's arrested"

On the screen a news reporter came into view "Only a few minutes ago a………………………….wooomannn got arrested for plans to sabotage the seriously low budget Keys to The Kingdom musical. (Slight hesitation) the….maaan supposedly went by the name of Dame Primus, who is also the name of a character in Garth Nix's popular children series which is about to get rui.. I mean get turned into a block buster smash by the musical production that premier's in 2 minutes and 15 seconds! So go now and buy your tickets as they are STILL available".

Garth Nix was too shocked to notice that someone was dragging him into the theatre. Looks like the show would go on…

* * *

Scene 1 (note that the inspector will be played by Keanu reeves and the commissionaire will be player by Hugo Weaving) 

The inspector walked onto the stage approaching the commissionaire who was guarding a large plastic diamond "Horses go neigh, cows go moo I'm an inspector honest and true", he said.

"Mr Anderson.. I mean there's nothing going on you may go", replied the commissionaire.

"What a waste of time a………a…………ACHOO!"

The plastic diamond in the middle of the stage disappeared in a flash of cheap fireworks that made an annoying whistling sound. With that the play went into its first song (sing the following part in a crappy voice).

"Oh my gosh, you've freed the will", sang the commissionaire

"No it wasn't me I just sneezeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed", sang the inspector

"If it wasn't you theeeeennn….. WHO LET THE WILL OUT!"

Chorus "Who, who, who, who, who?"

"WHO LET THE WILL OUT?"

Chorus "Who, who, who, who, who?"

* * *

The second scene was worse…. (You should still be singing the words, no you don't sing this caption!) 

"I'm dying, I'm dying oh save me someone I'm dying", sang Arthur.

"He's dying, he's dying someone save him he's dying", sang Mr Weightman as he jogged by.

"He's dying, he's dying Ed we must save him he's dying", sang Leaf.

"I like pokemon", sang Ed.

"Ed read the script betterrrrrrrrr", sang Leaf.

"I'm still dying", sang Arthur.

Chorus "He's still dying in C sharppppppppppppppppp"

Mister Monday and Sneezer enter the stage.

"Look sir, lets give the key to that dying boy", sang sneezer.

"But I don't want toooooooooooooo", sang Monday.

"But the Will states soooooooo, one Will to rule them all and in the darkness bind them!" sang sneezer.

"Fine, fine, fine I'll give him my key", sang Monday.

* * *

The fourth scene was just random. 

Weird voice "It's a fetcher, fetcher, fetcher, fetcher, fetcher, fetcher, fetcher, fetcher, fetcher, fetcher, fetcher, fetcher, ARTHUR! ARTHUR! A fetcher, fetcher, fetcher, fetcher, fetcher, fetcher, fetcher, fetcher, fetcher, fetcher, fetcher, fetcher, ARTHUR! ARTHUR!"

* * *

The fifth scene errrr…. (Sing it really fast) 

Suzy: "There's a lower house, middle house, upper house, straw house, stick house, brick house, out house, my house, his house, her house, it's house, this house, that house, dog house……"

* * *

Garth Nix wanted to rip his ears off by the scene were Arthur expresses his feelings to the albino fetcher (don't ask) 

The play was off track and heading for a collision course in flop land……

* * *

"Why would you love that dirty animal creature, I thought you loved meeeee", sang Suzy. 

"Sorry Suzy, but the fetcher is the right person for thheeee", sang Arthur.

"But he's just a dog", sang Suzy.

"No he's a person", sang Arthur.

"Dog!"

"Person!"

"Dog!"

"Person!"

"Dog!"

"Person!"

Mister Monday:" Aren't I supposed to be the main antagonist of this storrryyyyyy?"

* * *

In the eighth scene Arthur finally got to meet the Will who was actually a Kermit the frog puppet. 

Kermit or Will: "Guess who's back, back again, the Will's back, tell a friend! Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, how 'bout that, the Will's back, that's who's back."

It was at this scene that Garth Nix actually realized that the audience actually liked the play. People were chuckling and pleased with the performance, everyone actually had a large smile on their face. This play was going to be a success after all! Then he noticed some thing else, on one of the balconies was Dame Primus armed with a nasty looking potato gun with a scope. Dame Primus was going to try to ruin the play, Garth Nix had to stop him………………………….. Or her.

* * *

(Mean while on the stage) 

"This House ain't big enough for the two of us", sang Monday.

"What did I dooooooooooooooooo?" sang Arthur.

"You stole my key and more importantly you're dating with my albino fetcher! Now die!" sang Monday.

More cheap fire works blasted at Arthur, who tried to dodge but stumbled on his shoe lace and fell face first onto the stage.

* * *

"Stop right there", yelled Garth Nix as he opened the door to the balcony "the show must go on!" 

Dame Primus turned around potato gun in hands "Traitor to your own cause", he snarled as he fired the gun.

Garth nix had the wind knocked out of him as a rotten brown potato hit him in the chest splattering its yellowing innards over Garth Nix's suit.

"Must be stooppppeeeddddd!" cried Garth Nix charging at Dame Primus. Dame Primus was to busy reloading the potato gun to stop the charging author from pushing him over the balcony. With a cry of surprise Dame Primus fell from the large balcony crashing into the aisle with a heavy thud.

Garth nix paused for a moment before starting to sob "What have I done", he cried. He had just killed an innocent denizen just for fame and fortune…

**Too many people have died because of other's needs of fame and fortune. If you care post this on your profile.**

**If you want to know what the heck the fourth scene (fetcher, fetcher, fetcher) about go to google and type in "badger, badger, badger".**

**And finally give me ideas for a fifth chapter! I'd really apreciate it.**


	5. Sorrow Days

**Yeah chapter five. First I like to thank everyone for their reviews, and second...wait their is no second...**

The meeting room was quiet, the only sound that could be heard was the squishy squish of a clay like substance, and the sound of Sir Thursday breathing heavily, obviously very, very angry.

It was the annual meeting that all the trustees attended annually in House time. They were stated in the rules that the Trustees must attend this meeting annually. But then again they don't follow rules they make the rules, so why do they go to this meeting? Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…………………………………………………………………………………………………… well lets not waste any more time shall we, on with the fic.

Unfortunately the meeting could not start until all the Trustees had arrived, and this was not the case. Mister Monday was late, again. He was late exactly an hour in our time, so you can tell in House time that he was very, very late.

The other Morrow Days had barely uttered anything, all wrapped up in their on things. Lady Friday had her face buried in a mirror. Drowned Wednesday had eaten all the food two minutes after her arrival and was now staring at Saturday's long smooth hands. Grim Tuesday had brought a little ball of nothing that he was shaping into different little animals. He had made a farm yesterday, but wisely decided to take it down after Sir Thursday's increased breathing. Ah yes, Sir Thursday's face had increased 5 shades of red after he had arrived, and was clutching his baton so tightly that blue blood flowed all over his fingertips. Sunday was the only one who seemed happy, spinning around in what he called "The Big Chair", teasing Saturday with it, who was very envious about "The Big Chair".

Finally Mister Monday arrived, with a yawn he sleepily waved to Sunday to begin the meeting, and then slumped in a chair.

"Like, oh my gosh", said Lady Friday in her, teenager that loves to shop for clothes voice "you are like so late".

"Oh shut up Friday", said Saturday "you're the youngest one here, the only one who's still in her triple digits".

"Guys I made a snake!"

"No one cares Tuesday"

"Order", shouted Sunday as he lowered and raised "The Big Chair" in front of Saturday's face "I know we're all tired and hungry (glaring at Wednesday) and ready to resort to violence (staring at Thursday), and some of us are too preoccupied with themselves to care (glaring at Friday), but this meeting is very important, as you know we need to get our positive side out there, as the chart's show that we've made a decrease in popularity. So what better way to do that, than a fan club!"

With the snap of his fingers, two denizens carried a large board that had lots of writing on it.

* * *

The board said: The Morrow Day Fan Club! 

Are you mad for Morrow Days! Are other Denizens "concerned" about you? Would you give up your life, friends, family, pets, etc to meet one! Would you kill? If you're this desperate and show signs of various symptoms then join in all the fun, sparkle, joy, joyness of the Morrow Day's fan club!

For a simple 85 pence yearly fee (plus all insurances) you can join denizens as obsessed as you are with our beloved Trustees (and mutter darkly how _they _don't understand).

Meet with your fellow Trustee fan club members every five months and:

Dress up as your favorite Morrow Days!

Say your favorite Morrow Day catch phrases such as "Yawn" or "Eat, food"!

Say how great the Morrow Days are to other fan members!

Sigh and stare at the floor.

Abandon your pathetic job and worship the people that caused the House to be like this today!

Oh, wait, there's more if you sign up in the next 2 seconds we'll send you a year's supply of calendars!

(Offer not available in the House, UK, Commonwealth, North America, South America, Oceana, India, territories above the tropic of Capricorn or signatories of the Book Charter)

* * *

It was clear when each of the Trustees were done reading, because they lowered their heads and glared at Sunday. Sir Thursday's face deepened another shade. Soon the whole room was staring at him, like when you glare at someone who made a really long joke with a really bad punch line. 

Sunday's hand lowered to his hip and gripped on his magnum .38, just in case.

"Guy's I made another snake, man these things are easy!"

Sir Thursday went off like an atom bomb. His key changed from the sharp baton into a huge sword and sliced through Grim Tuesday's little sausages (snakes) causing Nothing to splatter over the boardroom, hitting everything.

The sound of burning flesh filled the air. All the Trustee's quickly tried to repair their burns with the Keys, but unfortunately their Keys had been burned away by Nothing too.

Sir Thursday dropped what was left of his key (The hilt) and scowled "Cheap things", he said.

Mister Monday looked at the blackened remains of his Key, where he found a label "Made in Taiwan", he read aloud.

"Well", said Lord Sunday cheerfully "I guess the meeting is over, everyone's dismissed".

"We can't leave", said Superior Saturday flatly.

"Say what?" replied Sunday.

"The Nothing burned away our door, so we can't leave, the door was made out of Nothing and has returned to Nothing." She said in a matter of fact way. For once she felt higher than Sunday, until Sunday smugly patted the charred armrest of "The Big Chair", and Saturday was immediately jealous again.

"So like, what should we do?" asked Friday.

"We wait", said Sunday trying to retain leadership over the group.

* * *

4 hours later in our time. 

"I'm hungry", said Wednesday, desperately searching for something edible (usually settles with chewing her sleeve after a while).

Lord Sunday quickly rummaged through his pocket and pulled out a loaf of bread. He divided it into eight pieces and said "Eat this gratefully for this is all I have", quickly pocketing the last piece.

Superior Saturday as usual was comparing her share of the loaf to Sunday's. "Yours is darker than mine", she whined.

Nobody said anything, causing Saturday to turn away, embarrassed. The only sound was Drowned Wednesday licking up any crumbs that may have escaped her black gaping maw.

Sunday was getting nervous, he had seen the movies before, people get trapped, and one of them goes physiologically insane (glances at Thursday). It couldn't get any worse.

Then one of the Trustees pointed out an ever growing problem. "If this room is sealed off from the rest of the House, then won't we suffocate, because of lack of oxygen?"

Lord Sunday knew that was right, every inhale and exhale they took filled the room with deadly Carbon dioxide gas. Now it couldn't get any worse.

Then Mister Monday started to suffocate. He panted his chest loudly, his breathing shallowed, eyes wide with fear. "Can't breathe", he managed to choke out.

Soon Sunday was finding it hard to breathe, "Does anyone know CPR!" he cried desperately as Monday fell to the ground unconscious.

Everyone shook their heads. Except……..Friday.

"I can like, do it", said Friday heroically. She trotted over to Monday "Nobody panic". And with that she bent over to do mouth to mouth…….

(Let's skip this paragraph shall we?)

………….. Friday stood up helping up Monday too. "You saved me!" cried Monday joyfully.

Monday's cries of joy were interrupted by Saturday, the usual bearer of bad news. "We still have to escape", she pointed out "We'll die anyways".

Once again Friday turned out to be the hero; she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small mirror. It was the fifth key. It hadn't been destroyed by Nothing.

"Well look who's this fic's Mary Sue", grumbled Tuesday as Friday made an elevator door using the powers of her key.

They stepped in to the elevator. Sunday sighed, he was relieved to be out of the room. He glanced at Thursday who seemed suspiciously _happy_. Thursday was rarely_ happy_.

"Here let's have a toast", said Thursday _happily_ distributing glasses full of Smirnoff "For Monday being a lazy arse, for Tuesday because his creations suck, for Wednesday looking like a pig in a dress, for me being the best general ever, for Friday being a stuck up teenage girl, for Saturday so that she may get a life and for Sunday because he's a moron".

Everyone looked at Thursday awkwardly who still seemed very _happy_, but decided to drink anyways, alcohol was the best the best stress reliever in the House.

A smile crept up onto Thursday's face. He was smiling _happily_ because of that certain shilling he had hid in everyone's drinks….

**Next chapter will probably be Suzy and Leaf fighting over Arthur. **


	6. When gals go mad

**(Checks watch) Welll...it's been a long time!!!! I guess I have to thank the people who Pmed me (That guy who said he'd kill me if I didn't update then Pmed me saying "I know where you live"...)**

Arthur could only use one word to describe the shabby food court. Shabby. The smell of burning patties filled the air (Half of the stores deserved the title "By products ahoy!"). A man nearby chewed on a cardboard thin burger mustard spurting into the depths of his mustache.

Arthur was in line for the only half (That's not saying much) decent place here. Valoe's coffee and donut pub. A sign beside him read "Coffee half empty 0.80$, coffee half full 1.50$". A man with the eyes of an owl would have been further able to read "No scam here, honestly".

"Arthur, Arthur!"

Arthur turned to see Leaf running towards him, pigtails flapping behind her.

"Why hello Leaf", said Arthur, happy for the company "pleasure to see you here".

"Hello Arthur", said Leaf with a giggle "I was…um….well I was wondering if you wanted to see a movie today".

"Well I sure wasn't planning to, but okay why not"

"Yeah they have some really good ones out, like men in black 3. Oh and I got you a gift", Leaf smiled as she held out a big box wrapped up in silver.

"Artie, Artie!"

Both Leaf and Arthur turned to see an exited Suzy running towards them. A similar silver package as Leaf's was in her hands. She was wearing her usual get up (Top hat, shabby coat) and that attracted a lot of attention.

"Hey Artie", said Suzy with a purr "Look what I got you".

Arthur smiled nervously, Suzy was acting pretty strange "Well that's really nice Suzy, but it seems I lost my place in line……"

"Oh please open it Artie, please, please, please", pleaded Suzy, holding out the box.

"Wait Arthur open _mine_ first", said Leaf with a smile.

During this Suzy used her very good sneaky skills to switch Leaf's gift with hers.

"Oh come on silly open mine first rather than Fertilizer's"

"It's Leaf", said Leaf somewhat hurt.

"Oh my apologies, anyways open it Artie", Suzy pleaded, thrusting the box into Arthur's hands.

"Oh fine", said Arthur and began to unwrap it "Oh wow an X box 360. I love this! Gee thanks Suzy"

Leaf looked in shock, that was supposed to be her present "Here you go Arthur", she said, somewhat disappointed.

She immediately lightened up when Arthur said "Yeah whoop a Nintendo DS! How did you know?" he was as giddy as am eight year old with a bb gun, perhaps not a good thing.

Leaf smiled smugly, Suzy's face however caused people nearby to back away.

"Hey, Arthur you want to head to that movie now?" asked Leaf, hoping to get them away from Suzy.

"Oh yeah sure, lets go", said Arthur, excitedly ripping through layers of bubble wrap to get to the silver piece of Japanese hardware. Seeing Suzy's "downcast" face he quickly added "Oh let's bring Suzy too".

"Wait, doesn't Suzy have to do chores for Dame Primus?" asked Leaf, trying to edge away with Arthur.

"Oh no", said Suzy with a smile "I've taken care of old Primey".

"Well then", said Arthur "let's go!"

Leaf cursed under her breath.

* * *

They decided to see the Fantasy story (A totally original story by a very bad director)

Leaf and Suzy were in charge of refreshments, leaving Arthur to watch advertisements that play before the movie.

"Paintblow it's a paintball gun and blow dryer at the SAME TIME!!!!!!!! (Gasp)"

(Don't miss you're chance to read the exciting new book Harry Potter and the deathly hallows! Get it now at Chapters for only 9.99$ or you can get the exact same book with a more _matur_e looking cover 50.99$!)

Suzy was first to return. "Artie", she said 'I got you medium bag of popcorn and a Pepsi just for you!"

"Well thanks Suzy", said Arthur, happily accepting both items "but all for me?"

"Arthur, Arthur", Leaf squeaked "I got you a large popcorn and a **COKE**, all for you!"

"Wow Leaf thanks but Suzy had already gotten me….hey were did Suzy go?"

"Artie I got you a jumbo bag of popcorn".

"Geee thanks, but you and Leaf already bought me a lot of popcorn. Where did Leaf go anyhow?"

"Arthur I got you the biggest bag of popcorn, they HAD. Now you have a lot", Leaf smirked, she knew she couldn't be outdone.

"Artie I bought you TWO of the biggest bags of popcorn!

* * *

The movie began shortly afterwards and Arthur couldn't see over the colossal bags of popcorn that towered over him and, unfortunately, the people behind him. Arthur felt something warm on his lap and realized it must be butter leaking through the bottom of the bag.

**COMING ATTRACTIONS**

Announcer: (You know that guy who sounds like he's seven feet tall and has been smoking cigarettes since childhood) You saw the hit movie of 2007, well here's its sequel 3000!!!(Shows big bad Spartan yelling at the top of his lungs "BANZAI!!!!") Containing more action (Shows violence), more burly Spartans (More violence), more EPIC BATTLES (Shows the most epic scene ever!!!!). Mixed with little story and all that unnecessary drama crap (Possibly a bit too much violence?). The Critics rave! "This…is…the good….avoid…..anything else"Larry King.

Before the movie started, Leaf finally decided to make her move. Watching Suzy eat popcorn out of the corner of her eye she than asked Arthur: "Hey Arthur I need to talk to you".

It took Arthur a moment to realize that Leaf was speaking in French, he knew how to speak French as well "Yeah what's it about, and why are we speaking in French?"

"It's about" Leaf said in French and leaned closer and made a gesture towards Suzy (who was still watching the previews) "her."

"What's going on with Suzy?" asked Arthur in French.

"She…she wants to throw your dog off a cliff", said Leaf in French

"Why would she want to do that to Terrence?" asked Arthur in French.

"Your dog's called Terrence?" said Leaf in French.

"So…." said Arthur in French.

"Nevermind, well here's what we need to do I say we "pretend" to go to the bathroom and then leave her", said Leaf in French.

Meanwhile Suzy was looking at them quizzically.

"Sounds like a plan", said Arthur in French "but I don't think Suzy would do this".

"Oh but she would, she's been plotting it for quite some time……"

"_Que je parle francais, moi aussi, et ej vous comprends tres bien_", interrupted Suzy.

"Oh", said Leaf in one of the two languages….

"I wouldn't kill Arthur's dog and you know it! You just want to get him away from me so you can…" Suzy said.

"Would you shut up!!!" said Mr. annoyed man in the front row "I'm trying to watch a movie here".

"Oh shut up your self!" snarled Leaf and that got her, Arthur and Suzy kicked out of the theatre.

* * *

Arthur was beginning to feel rather angry; unfortunately he wasn't able to get away from either Suzy or Leaf who had "insisted" on eating out at a local restaurant.

"So Arthur", purred Suzy "You want to share a steak?"

"No"

"Arthur would rather have a Caesar salad with me", said Leaf "Wouldn't you Arthur?"

"No"

The waiter than came handing out menus. Adult menu for Arthur, adult menu for Suzy, kids menu for Leaf. "I'll be back in just a minute to see if you want some refreshments", the waiter said, then left the trio to their doings.

"Haha Leaf got a kids menu", teased Suzy.

"Just because I have pigtails doesn't mean I'm a kid", Leaf whined.

"Does so"

"Does not"

"Does so"

"Does not"

"Arthur is Leaf a little whittle kiddy", said Suzy grinning.

"You're both acting like kids", snapped Arthur "Stop arguing!"

"She started it"

"NOOOO, she started it"

"Nuh-uh"

"Yeah"

"Nope"

"Yep"

"Yes"

"No…"

"Ha I got you!!!"

"No you didn't"

"Yes I did"

"Shut up!" said Arthur, a bit loud "The waiters here"

The waiter had been looking at this argument with a puzzling look on her face. Finally she got control of herself, smiled and said "And what would you miss", she said, looking at Suzy "Like to drink".

"I'll have an orange crush", said Suzy, trying her best to look like an adult.

The waiter then went to Leaf "And what would the youngster like to drink"

"Well actually I'm not that young…"

"Grass, don't be so rude!" scolded Suzy in here adult imitation "The waiter has asked politely what you would like to drink".

"It's Leaf", muttered Leaf darkly to Suzy who was snickering, and then turning to the waiter said "Water would be fine".

The waiter then moved to Arthur "And you young sir, what would you like to drink?"

"Coke", muttered Arthur.

"Pardon me, can you speak louder", said the waiter.

"Coke puh-LEZE", said Arthur angrily.

"Is Pepsi fine?" asked the waiter, not at all affected by Arthur's rudeness.

"HECK NO, THIS PLACE FREAKING SUCKS!!!!", yelled Arthur, slamming his fist down on the table, "Just get me a Sprite!".

The waiter then quickly retreated into the kitchen. She decided there that she would take as long as possible with the drinks.

"Arthur", asked Suzy in her soft voice "What's wrong?"

Arthur glared at her "You girls are just so annoying, always arguing, can't you just get along?"

"Yeah, sure whatever you say", said Suzy. She didn't know that Leaf had other plans

"Hey Arthur, I got you a coke" said Leaf, pulling a bottled Coke from her pocket.

Arthur immediately brightened "Wow Leaf you're my _best friend!!_"……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

* * *

Inside Suzy's head….

Scientist #1: Sir we have an unstable reaction WE CANNOT CONTAIN IT!!!!!

Scientist #2: SHE'S GONNA BLOW!!!!!!!!

* * *

Suzy's face turned so red it would've made Sir Thursday jealous. In one swift motion she grabbed the coke out of Leaf's hands and smashed it over her head.

Gasps filled the entire restaurant. The waiter who was nervously bringing the drinks immediately retreated back into the kitchen. Leaf's approach though was some what different. Leaf's fist hit Suzy's jaw with a satisfying crack sending Suzy tumbling to the ground.

Arthur was in a state of shock. He barely heard Leaf go "I love you Arthur! I love you SOOO much!" before Suzy tackled Leaf to the ground.

Leaf used her sharp manicured nails to dig into Suzy's skin. Suzy responded by pulling one of Leaf's pigtails…….

* * *

Anchor: We interrupt this fanfiction to bring you a new broadcast of the exact same thing (No this is not some stupid excuse to bring the story into script format……….. hmmm, hmmm………………………yeah….) we now bring you live at the restaurant, Cindy?

Cindy: Well it seems that one of the girls, the one without the chewed off pigtails, has gotten a light saber, YES a light saber folks! It seems George Lucas was in town and was showing off……never mind. Now the girl with the lightsaber has backed the other one up into the corner.

Suzy: Eat plasma! (Ready to strike)

Leaf: If you strike me down I will become more powerful then you ever imagine!!!!

Suzy: Well that's a risk were willing to take.

Leaf: No that's a risk _your_ willing to take.

Arthur: Can you guys stop it!!! Stop it now or I'll marry Hilary Duff!!

Hilary Duff: (Singing) when the rain falls down…..

Arthur: Don't sing…….

Suzy: She's next then after her! (Slashes Leaf with light saber)

Leaf: Oh my gosh my arm!!!!!!!

Cindy: Well the girl with the chewed off pigtails seems to have had her arm cut off with the lightsaber….and that girl is being apprehended now by the police! No wait she's escaped she's heading this way!!!! Protect the camera!!!!!!

Suzy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

(We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by)

**I have a bet currently going that Superior Saturday comes out before the next chapter..**

**Anyhow give me ideas in your reviews!**


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